Hilarious post by Hartboy at Daily Kos
Every generation thinks the world is in a state of decline. You can ask anybody back to the times when man first started to talk, and they'll tell you the same thing. Our ancestors were upright, hard-working, decent folk, and our descendants all play their music too damn loud.
Nowadays, it's the same old song, whether you're complaining about dogs getting chauffeured rides to recording studios, or massages for babies.
One issue in particular seems to be raising a big fuss. I'm talking about gay marriage. Everyone from bums to politicians is weighing in with his opinion, and I don't get it. I mean, I just don't get it. The way I see it, marriage is already pretty gay.
hartboy's diary :: ::
Think about it. You have the ever-present disco music blaring. You dance with your mom. And what other time in your life do you tell your buddies, "Hey, I got a great idea. Let's all wear the same thing to this party, guys. We'll get dressed up, I mean really dressed up. Let's show up with matching tuxedos!"
It's not just the wedding reception itself that is pretty gay. While you're planning the whole shindig, and your bride-to-be is asking you the stupidest questions, like "Do you think the table settings should be burgundy or maroon?" you still have one ray of hope. One glimmering remnant of straightness to hold onto. I'm talking about the bachelor party.
So what do you do? What DO you do? Somehow, you even manage to gay that up.
Let's be realistic. Strip clubs are fun every once in a while. But could you imagine anything more gay then a nudie bar? "Let's get a bunch of dudes together, go to a place that's filled with other dudes, and get sexually aroused. P.S., you're not allowed to touch any of the women there."
So the next time Senator Santorum asks you to help preserve the sanctity of marriage by not letting it be gay, ask him: Did you do the electric slide at your wedding? Did your best man get all drunk and tell you he loves you in front of everybody?
Admit it, Rick: Marriage is already pretty gay.
